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February 4th, 2009
11:06 am - An open letter to my Mamoo
For those of you just tuning in, I call my Mama's wife Mamoo.
Dear Mamoo,
It makes me shudder to even contemplate touching the things you consider food. You were dangling this floppy thing over the heater, Mamoo. It was wiggly and wobbly. I thought it was a toy for me. Then you told me it was bacon. That didn't look a thing like the yummy turkey bacon Mama fries up. That stuff smells good and it looks nice and crispy. I want to have some, but Mama won't give it to me on account of my sensitive tummy, so I just have to content myself with the smell.
I had to check out this scientific monster for myself. It doesn't even look right, Mamoo! It smells weird and it's floppy, and I touched it and all I could think of was ewww! You're good at cuddling and being good to Mama, but you just aren't right in the food department.
Maybe I could show you what is good food. I have nearly ten years of experience in knowing what is good and what isn't. Apparently I have to do a lot to educate you.
Love,
your Babaloo
Yes, that's really what she calls me. Really. It isn't nearly as saccharine as some of the things Mama calls me.
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January 22nd, 2008
12:30 pm - Hello world!
I know, long time no update. My Alpha Cat duties have kept me busy, and there have been mamas to wrangle. Mama started a new Job last year that makes her stay out of the house all day and come home tired. Mamaloo finished that School thing I posted about last time and is now spending a lot of her time downstairs making a space so she can do her Job from home. I hope Mama follows suit. I don't think this Commuting stuff she does is any good for her.
My good friend Macao visited us for three months at the end of last year, so I was busy being hostess.
I got really sick over Thanksgiving, and my mamas were really scared. They took me to see a doctor, but not my doctor who I really, really like! They explained that they wanted me to get care right away, and we'd see Dr. Ari the next time. I guess Dr. Clark was okay, but he poked me a lot and took out some of my blood plus some other things I just don't want to mention! *shudder* He gave me some tasty new food instead of the kind that was giving me tummyaches, and I had to take pills for *two whole weeks*! I only let Mama do it, and I guilted her for it every chance I got.
Anyway, I'm feeling much better now, and I had another checkup last week, this time with my Dr. Ari! He cuddled me through the whole visit, listened to my heart, told me I have pretty teeth, and gave me a manicure and pedicure! My Mamas put me in a crate that was bigger than mine, and with bigger holes to see through (I think it was Oreo's crate, but I'm not sure). I was able to stand up higher in it and see outside. It was really cool!
I saw a great big Car outside the window with this big thing on the back that turned around and around. Mama said it was a cement truck. I really want one! My birthday is May 1st, and I'm going to be nine years old. If you really, really love me, you can get me a cement truck. My Mamas know where to put stuff, so I think they can find room :)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankwinkb.gif) devious
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October 3rd, 2006
06:36 pm - I feel so dirty!
This morning, I was all snuggled up between Mama and Mamaloo in the bed, and I felt so safe and warm and cozy. Mmmmmm! There was also a very warm body with soft fur just below me, so I was hemmed in at all sides with all kinds of snuggly goodness.
Then the clock started screaming and Mamaloo hit it. We all tried to go back to sleep. Then it screamed again and she hit it again. It went off again and both Mama and Mamaloo decided it was time to get up so they wouldn't be late for something called School. I don't know what it is but it makes my mamas grumble about getting up early so it can't be any good. Anyway, Mama nudged me by accident and bumped me into the soft furry snuggly body, who hissed at me.
It was my archnemesis, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) velcrobutt! I hissed right back at her and hit her, and then she jumped off the bed and ran away so I ran after her so I could hit her some more.
I think I spent about three hours washing myself. Uggghhhh...
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September 22nd, 2006
08:08 pm - Music to their ears?
Long time no update. Seriously, we've added two more felines to the ranks, and with five underlings I'm one busy Alpha. potatokitty and I are still doing great together, as long as he remembers that I'm in charge, and I'm the girlfriend and his alpha, so there. velcrobutt...well, she's another story. She's still challenging me for the Alpha position when she knows I won't budge. Still, I've come to tolerate her...somewhat. *grumble*
Oreo is still the big dumb lummox outside, so he's easy to manage. So is Miss Joanna, since she's shy and doesn't like to interact inside at all. She got trapped inside one day and totally freaked out! Jebbie is young and annoying and like a little kid. He tried to butter me up by calling me Mama in cat language. Hrrrmmmm, I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Mama and Mamaloo (that's what I call Other Mama now 'cause it's easier) got married in June. Yay! I helped Mama make the favors and I helped Mamaloo with programs. It was on a boat with lots of people like Auntie Jo and Uncle Snarky and my grammas and my grampas and all my aunties and uncles! Yes, Auntie Kim, I still include you in those ranks. It'll just be awhile before I forgive you for never visiting!
Mama and Mamaloo have a lovely friend who I call Macao, who has been staying with us from time to time. I adore her! The kitchen always smells great when she's here, and she sings so beautifully. I love singing! I love when Mama and Mamaloo sing, and when they sing with Macao, I am such a happy kitty! Macao practices her opera singing a lot when she's here, and I always run to her feet to listen!
With Macao and Mama practicing songs for different things, I got inspired. It seems that the kitchen acoustics are great for my voice, so I decided to sing too. Mama and Mamaloo were watching that big flashy box with moving pictures in the living room, and they heard me sing and came running. When Mama realized that I was singing, she and Mamaloo giggled.
The nerve! I thought they of all people would appreciate good art...
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September 29th, 2005
12:24 am
Baby velcrobutt is playing with a plastic bag behind the purple velvet couch of doom and Mama and Other Mama are about to take it away from her. I'm doing some transposessory work this week with Baste so my mamas need to give me extra space. I'm burying my face in my toy gorilla from Aunty phoenixrisen and Uncle Snarky redhawke gave me after riseorbleed drenched it in liquid catnip. Aaaaaah
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July 15th, 2005
03:22 pm - Having a mopey day
Why won't the weather person bring more sun to our house? Why? Why? Why? Mama and Other Mama said it's been sunny everywhere else but here, and I'm upset that they couldn't put a lasso around the sun and bring it home.
Last night, velcrobutt peed all over Other Mama's backpack and got a scolding. I came up to Other Mama to see what had happened and I got hissed at. It's not my fault that Velcro and I look so much alike! Other Mama said she was sorry and cuddled me, and that was fine, but I'm still upset that I got hissed at for something that wasn't my fault to begin with. It's just not fair!
So, it's another cloudy day here but I have my Mama and Other Mama all to myself right now, and I've been getting them to cuddle me a lot. At least that's something.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/anksadb.gif) sad
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01:35 am - Well, they've gone and done it...
Rascal and Velcro have livejournals now. I guess I'll do the LJ-appropriate thing and ask you to welcome potatokitty and velcrobutt to Livejournal.
Rascal has some entertaining tales about the world outside. I love hearing his stories about the Big World Out There, and now you'll get to hear them too.
Velcro may have some interesting things to say, but I dare say it won't be nearly as stimulating and thought-provoking as what goes into my journal. Just making a general statement about my superiority, is all.
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June 28th, 2005
12:36 am - Little Sister Blues
Velcro is driving me crazy! She's been peeing on things and stinking up the house with her stupid pheromones, taking away from *my* territory. I have less time with Rascal, I have yet one more cat to share food with, and I can feel how tense Mama and Other Mama are getting because of her actions.
She so needs to be trained in how to act inside a house. I mean, this isn't outside, jeez! About the only time I have peace of mind is when I'm in Mama's arms, so I've been turning on the charm and begging for cuddles. All I have to do is stand at her feet, look up at her with a forlorn expression and say "Mama" in the most endearing tone I can muster, and she's putty and can't refuse me anything. It's one of the things I love about her so.
I've been searching for a box to put Velcro in so that I can mail her to Siberia or something. Any tips on where to get packing materials?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankangryb.gif) pissy!
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June 4th, 2005
10:46 am - My crazy little stepsister
Siouxie and Sinead, you two were right. My stepsister Velcro came upstairs to live indoors with us. I saw her through the screen a lot when she was an outside kitty, but I never knew that she would ever come inside.
She's got a shaved leg and what looks like a big owie. I hurt that same leg years ago, and I remember how scared and shaky I felt when I was recovering, so I've gone really easy on her. She hisses and yowls at me if I get too close.
I'm trying to feel out the situation, approaching her slowly and then quietly sitting down and not moving when I get to the edge of her comfort zone. I've been getting closer and closer, but she still yowls at me when I try to sniff her butt.
I want her to be my friend, and I want that now! I have plenty of virtues to recommend me, but patience is just not one of them.
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May 24th, 2005
08:49 am - Something's up around here...
...and I'm not sure I like it. My mamas have been attentive as ever, but they still keep going downstairs and telling me I can't follow them. They come back smelling like somebody else, and they tell me that I'll meet my new little sister soon.
My feline friends, what do you make of this?
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May 4th, 2005
11:49 am - Please help a kitty and a human in need!
I took a break from eating tuna and torturing Rascal because this is REALLY REALLY important!
slow_mo_panda has a cat, Loki, who's ill with feline urological syndrome and may have to go to the vet to have his bladder and system flushed out. But SlowMoPanda is on a fixed income (SSDI) and can't afford the treatment. If you have any money to spare, would you help out? Loki is very important to SlowMoPanda, and it's tragic that this cat may have to be put down because his human can't afford his veterinary treatment!
Read more here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/slow_mo_panda/476463.html
I just called Mama to the computer on this and she made a donation. If you have something to spare, please share it. If you don't, then make sure this message gets out to other people who can help.
This kitty deserves a chance.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankhuntb.gif) determined
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May 3rd, 2005
11:15 am - Birthday time!
I just had a birthday a couple days ago. I'm six years old, which is 36 in cat years. You all know what this means:
Ophelia for President!!!
I'm running on a platform of unlimited snuggles, and catnip and tuna for all. Join my campaign; you know you want to!
Anyway, I had a great birthday! Mama made me this amazing cake. There was an oceanfish pate type thing in the middle, and it had pieces of lox all around the outside. There was tuna on top, and the whole thing was drizzled with a bit of water from the tuna can. Deee-licious! I even decided to be generous and share it with Rascal. I also got so much nip it was crazy. Mama covered my scratch toy and my entire body in the stuff.
Ohhhhh yeahhhhh.
I had a major hangover yesterday, but it was all worth it!
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April 24th, 2005
01:45 pm - Finally! Icons!
Well it's about frickin' time! Mama and Other Mama finally got me some icons. Now, after having this journal nearly two years, the world can finally see how utterly gorgeous I really am!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankcreateb.gif) rock star!
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March 28th, 2005
08:49 am - Zen and the art of human sabotage
Despite what my humans will tell you, I have classically perfect timing. I am the Grand Poobah of adorable sabotage, and I'm using it Right Now. I'm on the computer right now, and I'm on Mama's lap. She's pinned down and she can't go anywhere, because I'm online and unbearably adorable besides. There's no way she can resist!
Besides, too much Doing Stuff leads to her going Out. Out is Away From Me and therefore thoroughly unacceptable. Besides, she and Other Mama were away for *two whole weeks* not too long ago. How much Out do humans really need anyway? And is some place called Europe really more interesting than my adorable antics?
So, I'm trying to convince Mama that the fridge doesn't need cleaning. She can order food in. The gym won't cry if she doesn't go there. Outside is overrated. I've got her exactly where I want her. Besides, there are photos of me now from the humans' new digital camera, and if Mama's trapped at the computer she can make me icons...
It's all such a perfect little plan...
Current Mood: devious
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December 28th, 2004
10:25 am - Grumpy! Pissy! Harumph!
Mama and Other Mama came home from their vacation last night. They were one day later than they said they would be and they didn't tell me. I mean, there's an answering machine in the kitchen and they could have called to let me know, but they didn't think of it until they got back.
They apologized and promised to call me in the future if they're not going to show up when they say they will.
Grumpy. Pissy. Ever so Not Pleased.
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December 16th, 2004
01:26 pm - More people to love!
I didn't realize until last week that having two Mamas means having two Grammas! I've known my Gramma Alice since I was a tiny baby, and Mama had been single for so much of my life that I didn't realize it was possible to have two.
I met Gramma Maggie last week, and wow is she a sweetie! I had to check out her bags for good-smelling stuff, and to mark her as my own. She likes to sit on the couch and watch movies with both my mamas, so that gave me a good opportunity to jump up on her lap and sniff her. And she looks a lot like Other Mama, so it's easy to see that they go together.
I think I like this Making New Friends thing. It means more people to love.
Mama and Other Mama have been looking after Other Mama's ex's kitties, Rascal and Velcro. Velcro stays outside because she loves to hunt. I don't want her inside anyway because she's so whiny it hurts my ears. Her brother Rascal is a real kick, and we have a great time playing together.
So I guess that's as updatey as I'll be for a bit. It's all according to my mood, of course.
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01:10 pm - If you can't teach 'em, join 'em
For the last five and a half years of my existence, I have tried to teach Mama and the other humans she's been living with more about my style of communication. I prefer to use meows and other vocalizations for punctuation, and I prefer the bulk of it to be delivered by a sophisticated system of body language.
Mama has a really crude grasp of this language. She gets about five signs, misinterprets about 10, and there are hundreds still that don't register in her human brain as communication.
It's frustrated me for years. So, instead of sulking in silence, I have resolved to learn to speak as much English as I possibly can. Now, my vocal chords and palate have trouble with certain consonants, so I've resolved to learn the key words that can get me what I want.
Besides, Mama and Other Mama think it's really cute when I talk the way they do. It gets me attention, and more often than not, I get what I want.
I've tripled my spoken vocabulary since moving to San Francisco. Fear me!
Current Mood: devious
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October 27th, 2004
02:28 pm - Grrrraaaarrrr!
Humans! They think that they can rule the world with their vocal apparati designed for the English language and their opposable thumbs!
Last night, as I was trying to get a much-needed nap in bed with Mama and Other Mama, they were up late, giggling and singing sitcom theme songs.
Can't a cat rest in peace without hearing these truly cheesy songs?
I pounced Mama and tried to shove my head into her mouth to shut her up. I stuck my butt in Other Mama's face and farted. They kept going!
I spent the night on my couch. I don't care what Mama and Other Mama tell you. That purple velvety squishy couch is MINEALLMINE!!!
Humph, I say!
Current Mood: annoyed
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August 30th, 2004
10:50 am - Moves and people and stuff!
It's been awhile since I posted, and I'm having Mama transcribe this entry for me since our computer hasn't made it over to our new house yet, and Other Mama (the artist formerly known as The Keeper), has not been amused at my attempts to reconfigure the laptop.
So, I've moved to San Francisco. Mama and Other Mama had the foresight to come ask me if I wanted to move here and live with them. I decided that this was a great idea.
I had forgotten about the slight technicality in that one has to ride in the Car in order to go somewhere.
I HATE the car.
We said goodbye to Adam in Alameda, and then Mama put me in The Crate.
I HATE The Crate.
There were big noisy Cars all over the place, and they made me feel uneasy. I made sure that Mama knew just how badly this sucked for me. She tried to soothe me, and it worked sometimes. Once we crossed that big metal thing that Mama said was the Bay Bridge, I cussed out the vile traffic jam that was keeping me in the Car. Mama seemed to appreciate my protests.
We got to the house, and Mama set up my new irrigating water dish and food. I hid under the bed and swore that I was never coming out, not for a million years!
Then I decided I wanted cuddles.
This new house is great. It smells like Mama and Other Mama, and the other kitties are outside, so I'm queen of the inside and I like it! I'm really liking Other Mama a lot lately, and sometimes I give him snuggles, and sometimes I run away. I like to play shy :)
There's also this thing in the living room that looks like a HUGE computer monitor. Mama and Other Mama look at it a lot, but I can't find the keyboard or the mouse so that I can control it. I'll unravel this mystery and soon I'll take over all the electronics in the house! show the humans how unabashedly cute and clever I really am!
There's this really cuuuuute black kitty who lives in the backyard. She looks like me, and she's got this cuuuute little voice. We've been making eyes at each other through the screen door. I think I'm in love :)
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August 17th, 2004
01:07 am - It's happening again!
For the past couple of months, Mama hasn't been around too much. She and The Keeper have been spending a lot of time together, and I was starting to worry about being left out.
They came over tonight, and Mama asked me, "Baby girl, would you like to live in San Francisco with me and riseorbleed and learn Linux?" How can I turn down an offer like that?
I gave them both huggles and cuddles. I get Mama back really soon.
Right before she left for the night, she said, "Baby girl, listen to me. Tomorrow I'm coming for you."
So yay! I get to go be with Mama again.
Wait...
that means...
the car...
and...
the crate...
oh Bast
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankscaredb.gif) anxious
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